Life

How much do we really value life and all that has been given to us?  Can our appreciation of life be measured by the lifestyle we lead, how we treat others, how ambitious we are, how much money we make, how many kids we bring into this world, how many lives we change, how many people we touch, how many gifts we give and how we relate to God? I think it's all this and more.  

It's a smile, when we don't feel like smiling. A touch when we know it means something to someone else.  A gesture of kindness eventhough it is inconvenient to do so.  A thought even in absence.  A prayer even when faith grows dim.  

In the last week, someone we know has taken her life.  She stood out on the ledge of her balcony and jumped.  There was no indication this was going to happen, at least not in the days and weeks that led to it.  There was no cry for help.  No plea for a listening ear.  Nothing.  One minute there was life, and the next minute, none.  Could we have done anything to prevent it from happening?  But, how would we know it was going to happen?  The possibilities and what ifs are endless. 

As soon as I heard, I thought to myself how important it is for us to let people know we care about them enough so that they believe there is still hope in the hopelessness.  I felt I had failed in showing enough compassion, but I didn't show it because this was a person who seemed strong, capable, focused, and logical.  I failed to say something eventhough the strings in my heart were being tugged to take 5 minutes of my day to just talk.  Though this person was not a personal friend, I felt drawn to her.  Drawn to help.  But I didn't because I thought there was nothing I could do.  

No point looking back, just move forward, people usually say.  Well, moving forward, I actually see things a bit differently.  I am terrified of not acknowledging the meaning of life given to us freely.  I am afraid of misusing it, abusing it and living carelessly.  All of us at some point, has done something along those lines, I am sure.  So, how do I live my life differently? 

I have heard a lot of murmurings on the possibility that there is no God.  I have encountered individuals who tell me that if God were powerful and in control, He would have prevented many things in this lifetime and save people from pain and sorrow.  I have also heard the response to that, saying that God has a plan and that we cannot know His ways for His ways are higher than ours.  I have put myself in the shoes of unbelievers and seen their hurt and pain.  I do not blame them for blaming God for their predicaments.  For loved ones lost, for poverty, for senseless wars, for evil and selfishness in this world, for greed and lust over money, dirty politics, child prostitution, rape and murder.  How can we possibly explain why such things happen? How can we know what goes through the mind and heart of anyone who decides to end their life?  We cannot know and we will not know unless we come to that place on our own.  Which leads me to wonder, is life really so horrible for some people that their heart and mind no longer has any will to live?  Even in my deepest depression, sadness and sorrow,  I have never felt so desperate as that.  To ask God to end it for me, maybe. But to end it myself, I think that's a state of mind that has been literally pushed over the edge.  And I grieve for that mind.  I grieve for souls whose lives are agony day after day.  I cry for people who have nothing to look forward to day after day.  Who's circumstances make them rob in order to eat and kill to live.  Children who are left homeless.  Mothers whose children have been taken.  Fathers whose families have been destroyed.  We are moving closer to the worlds' end.  We can feel it drawing closer.  We must know, it's coming.  And even if we do not believe in God or the prophesies, we have to acknowledge we are coming to full circle and the end is only a sunset away.  

So what do we do till then? If we are spiritual, we pray.  If we are worldly, we continue to store up riches hoping we will live long enough to enjoy them.  While some of us, may do both.  Yet in our tasks to carry out our will for our lives, can we take the time to make a difference in someone else's life?  Can we sacrifice our comfort if it lifts the burden off someone else's shoulder? Can we spare a dollar for the disfortunate? Can we take a day to visit the lonely?  Can we be a little more selfless and less defensive and self centered.? 

For me personally, where do I start?  I start by speaking to the person no one else seems to talk to.  I start by making the poor feel important.  I start by doing things the popular world does not. Approach the person who doesn't have the money to pull strings for me.  By not judging the people around me who's color coordination leaves much to be desired or the person who does not speak perfect English. I start by not forming perceptions of people until I get to know them better.  By wanting to know details about someone else in order to help them and not destroy them.  I start by lending a helping hand when I don't really feel like it.  Or to visit a lonely aunt.  I start by putting the needs of other people before mine.  Showing my family I love them.  I can start by just making every day count for something or someone other than myself. I know I am only one person.  I know I cannot change the world.  But this is the reason why there are so many of us.  If every single person does something sefless, that makes a difference in someone else's life, we are slowly but surely making a difference in the world we have left.  Hoping that lives lived to that end, may experience some joy and some hope till the ever after.